Hello, my name is Joseph Pigliatti. I am also know as Joey the Pig, Joey the Wiseguy, Turpentine Joey, Joey Don’t Break My Kneecaps, Second Storey Joey and Joey Strawberry Short Cake. If you don’t mind – I prefer Joey the Pig.

Anyhow, the good folks at the website I work for asked me to write an article about the time my wife Pickles and I went to a casino in Jersey to play poker. It’s a good story and I hope you enjoy it.

One Friday night Pickles and I decided to drive down to Jersey for a fun filled weekend of poker. In the car, when were more than half way there, Pickles tells me that she forgot her rash cream at home. Now if that don’t put a damper on a fun filled weekend of poker nothing will.

Now don’t get me wrong, Pickles is a wonderful gal, but, she’s not the brightest light bulb in the chandelier. I love the girl but she’s often a few cards short of a full deck. Besides, she’s built for other things.

We get to Atlantic City just before ten at night and I’m itching to play some poker. Pickles is just plain itching. And with all her itching she is also trying to scratch. Now my wife is a very beautiful woman. And she likes to dress to show off her assets. Which are below her chin and above her navel.

Anyhow, we get to the casino and were walking through the joint and I can’t wait to get to the poker table. And Pickles is walking right beside me itching and scratching and jiggling all over the place. In her low cut dress she looked almost obscene. Every guy in the joint was staring at her.

We finally get to the poker table and just as I’m about to get my first hand Pickles tugs on my sleeve. Now my wife is a very quiet lady. She won’t say boo to me especially when I’m around a poker game. She knows better. She knows how serious I take poker and that under no circumstances do I liked to be bothered.

So I turn to Pickles and look at her. There she is squirming and jiggling like a circus act. And her face is all contorted and turning purple. She leans over and whispers in my ear that she needs her rash cream. I says to her “sweetheart, can’t it wait?”

Then she stands up in the casino, and this is so unlike Pickles, and yells at me “God dam it, I need it and I need it now!”

Then she turned and walked out of the casino. Well of course I followed her itching and scratching and jiggling body right out the door. And a few of the guys in the casino gave me the thumbs up.

To make a long story short I spent the rest of the night driving around from drug store to drug store looking for her brand of rash cream. And the moral of the story is – if you’ve got a rash don’t leave home without your rash cream.

I hope you enjoyed my article. Until next time – arrivederci.

© by Joseph Pigliatti. All rights reserved.


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